Hello blog
I haven't been here for a while.
There was a smile crossed my face a while back and I haven't felt much like spewing prose to connect with that ugly pit in my stomach.
I'm just breathing salt air. Finding peace somewhere in this mass of a soul.
I wanted to write a few words - a couple of thoughts.

I had a rush
of lust - or just happiness - which feels like lust because lust feels like that last time I was happy.
I had a rush of it.
It came in a wave of confirmation that I had finally taken a step on the right path.
And I could hear the universe whisper in my ear again. That voice i had been missing.

But in this, in all of this reconnection there is the simple matter of love itself, not to be confused with happiness. A seeming misstep. A distraction. A fatality for a raw heart that is moving so swiftly along a new path.

Let me collect these thoughts and make sense of them for you.
I found happiness. I found some kind of love- said with a lightness like luv or looove. And I realized I am at the place in my life where I need to distingush between the two.

Love is not happiness
Happiness is not love.

I'm likely not the first to require this lesson.
But I feel like an explorer. This is me setting down a flag on my new promise land.

Lifesaving class starts in a week.
Cheerio.