I'll start here: There was a mouse in the street ahead of me but doing 60k when you're 10 feet away doesn't warrant an abrupt stop or a panic ridden swap to incoming traffic. No. Not for a mouse. So I braced myself for impact. My body shuddered. The mouse drew nearer to my tire. And then I saw it - a swift movement (a "scurry").
And as if unified by the same desire - I could sense the little thing scrunch itself into a ball - the wind rushing along its little body as my car passed over.
Time Suspended. And there was no impact.

I checked the mirror and saw the little guy scurry to the other side of the street.

My first thought was: Thank God. My second thought was: I need to get out of this city.
My third thought was: Nothing ever changes. I dont know how to make things change.
I don't know how to be different then this. Change is all I'm ever after.
And I realize I'm chasing my tail.

I will always be this girl. Change doesn't come because I'm so tied into the prize - being beautiful, smart, confident, happy, talented. But thats already just my own tail. So Im going in circles and I'm making myself nuts over it. And maybe some part of me likes it because its a game that never goes away. Chase away.

5'4" brown hair - green eyes. Awkward. Confident. Selfish. Scared. Inspired. Random.
Just about killed a mouse but didn't.